?

Log in

LiveJournal for Corrupt From Within.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 10 entries.

Wednesday, October 1st, 2003

(Smack some sense into me)

Time:11:27 am.
I saw this...felt like doing it just to be random.

[first best friend] Justin something or another...we played together in the sandbox...i wonder where he is now.

[first real memory of something] Rather not...first memories weren't the best

[first kiss] Thats all a little fuzzy, it was either elizabeth or justin...my timeline is a little fuzzy

[first real date] hmmm...Probably to the movies with blake or marshall or something.

[first break-up] Blake...over the phone...i was mean.

[first job] Babysitting, other than that Cashier at Boone-Taylor Pharmacy

[first screen name] something about Babs. There was a cartoon character named babs bunny...it was a self-proclaimed nickname.

[first SELF purchased album] Nsync..the Christmas album... all the others i waited until christmas and let someone else buy them.

[first funeral] My grandpa..well, sam's dad..all the other grandchildren had pictures of themselves in his coffin...and they didn't put one of me..i was so mad that i made my aunt take me to their house to get one. i was like 10.

[first pet] I had a bunny named Bunny (One Tree Hill TOTALLY copied me) and a lizard named lizzy. I wasn't very creative.

[first piercing/tattoo] Ears at like 11..they grew in...i need to get them redone...i want my tounge pierced and a tattoo...don't know if it'll really happen.

[first credit card] I have a Debit card that has a visa sign...everyone else has turned me down.

[first true love] Miranda. First, last, forever.

[first enemy] Kristen...little blonde bitch. Probably 2nd grade..she used to call me names. Wait..no...my aunt laurel (she used to be a little blonde bitch too..shes not so bad now) she called me fat in front of one of her friends and I punched her..she bled like a stuck pig.

[first big trip] To NH to see my grandparents..i flew all by myself. I don't remember how old i was.

[first play/musical/performance] Kindergarden. It was a play about the countries of the world...i was some sort of hispanic country..i got to wear a poncho and a sombrero. i still had it up until the flood.

[first musician you remember hearing in your house] aerosmith, the stones, eagles...the one good thing about sam was he had great taste in music.

[last cigarette] Shoot, i should remember the date...i don't...its been about a month I guess.

[last big car ride] idk its been a while. Wanna take miranda up north for the holidays, we'll see what happens.

[last kiss] Miranda, this morning. Wonderful way to wake up.

[last good cry] Is there such a thing as a good cry?

[last movie seen] Lord of the Rings: The two towers. Shut up. They are great movies.

[last beverage drank] Coke From hardees from breakfast.

[Last food consumed] Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit..it was yummy.

[last crush] Miranda. It turned out well.

[last phone call] Miranda. This morning. Checking to make sure i got home. Sweet. :-D

[last tv show watched] ER repeat. The one where John and Lucy get stabbed by the psycho guy and Lucy dies.

[last time showered] in about 10 minutes, i feel icky.

[last shoes worn] Light/Dark Blue Adidas Flip-Flops

[last cd played] Some CD i bought at PrideFest. A lesbian singer from Wilmington. Its not bad..miranda hates it.

[last item bought] Breakfast. Actually miranda bought it.

[last disappointment] having to borrow money from my mom. again.

[last soda drank] Coke

[last time wanting to die] Haven't wanted to for almost two years now..i have an excellent reason to live.

[last time scolded] don't know.

[last shirt worn] old navy, gray.

[last website visited] hmmm livejournal. Not a very intelligent question.

Thursday, May 15th, 2003

(2 smacks | Smack some sense into me)

Time:3:00 pm.
Hot dang I've got a job! I'll be a pharmacy tech at target starting pretty soon. And the icing on the cake....because of my two years of experience...My starting pay will be 8.85 and once I get certified...I'll get a dollar raise.
Thats so freaking awesome...its beyond words.
Put in my application at pitt earlier this week.
So as of right now...I'm moving into an awesome apartment with my best friend (besides miranda that is)...I've got a good job...I'm starting school...I've got the most amazing girlfriend in the world and Life is just all-around going good.
Miranda and I are going out to eat and to the club with Mitzi and Tonya Friday night. I'm kinda nervous that we're gonna run into lawrence at the club...Miranda says she doesn't care anymore...that she'll just tell him...but...idk. But I left it up to her and if she wants to take the risk its up to her...she knows i'm always there for her.
So thats a quick recap of my life right now.

Now I think i'll stop talking about it and go live it.

Tuesday, May 6th, 2003

(2 smacks | Smack some sense into me)

Time:1:06 pm.
Livejournal has become boring...It feels like I'm talking to myself when I could just as soon talk to someone about my life.

But I suppose I'll update anyways. Life is going well...Miranda and I are still going strong, 8 months strong. Someday I'll look back on this and think that we were still so new 8 months in.
I'm finally moving out next month...the first week in june. Bobby and I are getting an apartment together in greenville. Its going to be absolutely awesome. Our apartment is going to be gorgeous...we're both starting at pitt...and even better...they're building a new gay club about 3 minutes from our apartment...which is great b/c the paddock absolutely sucks.
I turned 18 last thursday. I'm an adult. But I don't feel like one. Maybe I will when I'm out of mom and kenny's house and actually responsible for everything I do, and need. But Until then...I still feel like a child. But the upside is that I got a ton of stuff for my apartment
Hillary and I started talking...well..emailing again.
I guess thats basically it. Until the next time i decide to update.

Sunday, February 2nd, 2003

(1 smack | Smack some sense into me)

Time:5:56 pm.
Mood: good.
I don't know why I'm stressing so much. Its just the prom. Itsnot like she can take me, and i know that. I've known that all along. I've known this was coming so I don't know why it hit me so hard. Maybe its b/c of who it was that asked her...maybe not. I really don't know. I think its just everything has started getting to me. I never realized how hard having to be hidden almost all the time would be. Going back and forth between "friends" in public and around her family and then the real us anytime else is just plain stressful. She can't help it and theres absolutely nothing that either of us can do about it, at least not for another year and some change. I Should really just shut my mouth and get over it all b/c any stress I'm going through is worth it b/c I love her. So I'll get over all my stupid issues and eventually she'll graduate and then things will get much easier.
So i'm done with that.
Rest of the "update"? Does anyone even care?
Well if so here it is:
Hillary still hasn't talked to me. Apparently I mean less than the crap on the bottom of her shoe to her, so whatever...i can't force her to be my friend.
Had a long bought of being sick or something...whatever...had to go through alot of tests...spinal tap, MRI, MRI the list goes on. But I'm not dead so thats a plus (well some people may disagree)
Bobby and I are still cool, we talk just about every day. I don't get to see him as much as i'd like but we're both pretty busy so its cool.
I'm babysitting like 4 days a week, good money...or it will be when i actually start...better than blockbuster.
Getting an apartment in the spring. And I need a roomate desperately, so if you know anyone (like anyone is reading this) that is going to ECU this spring and wants to live in a really nice apartment have them email me. lol
well, thats about it.
Oh yeah, for those of you who know how big of a slob i used to be....I'm really clean now...(for those who don't know what i'm talking about...i don't mean personal hygene...i've never had problems with that) its almost scary.
Anyways, i need to go make dinner. Its been fun talking to myself and pretending someone was reading this.

Tuesday, December 17th, 2002

(Smack some sense into me)

Time:10:34 am.
My cat Nophe died last night. He came inside on sunday night limping really bad. We thougt his leg was broken but figured it wasn't an emergency so we waited until yesterday afternoon to take him to the vet. Mom took him. She said that he wouldn't let anyone get close enough to his leg to see what was really wrong, but they had figured out that there were bites on his leg that they thought were infected. This morning when the techs went in to check on him...he was dead. When they finally looked at the bites this morning...when it was too late...they found out that the bites were snake bites and that the venom had killed him.
I never realized how much it would hurt to lose a pet. I've cried almost endlessly since i found out. I feel like I've lost one of my best friends.
I don't know what else to say.

Friday, December 6th, 2002

(1 smack | Smack some sense into me)

Time:1:19 am.
I don't ususally pass on this kind of joke...but I thought this one was worth it.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes.

The man said, "I tried but I can't kill my wife.
The agent said, "Then you don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."


I can see my mom being that woman in 5 years. haha. kidding.

Thursday, December 5th, 2002

(Smack some sense into me)

Time:6:47 pm.
"Well lets see, I'm sweaty. I have no memory I'm hiding in a pipe from a vampire. And...I think I'm kind of gay."-Willow

Saturday, September 7th, 2002

(Smack some sense into me)

Time:11:38 am.
Bobby and I talked last night. We patched things up but he said hes "not ready" to talk to hillary yet. Mainly b/c more emotions were involved there then they were with him and I. He told me that he was really sorry for telling manda the crap he told her....i told him i didn't care and that it wasn't a big deal. I was more upset that he was talking about my best friend in the world and my girlfriend Well, after that, i told him that everything would be alright but that he really did hurt my feelings and that i understand that alot of it came from jealousy (he admitted that). I told him it would be alright but it would take me a while to get over my best friend doing something like that to me. Then this part of our conversation happened.
Bobby: "You sound like a completely different person."
Me: "How so?"
Bobby: "I don't know I can't explain it you just seem....better."
Me: "I am...I'm happier and I'm just a different person than I was this time last week."
Bobby: "Is that because of Miranda?"
Me: "Mostly."
Bobby: "Then I'm happy for you."
Me: "You'll find someone who will do the same for you one day. Be patient."

Thats like...the deepest bobby and I have ever been...our friendship has always been pretty non-emotional. We're there for each other but in that pat on the back kind of way.

Well...before that happened...i found out what my nagging feeling was all about. I went to sleep at about 10:15 or so b/c I was bored and had nothing else to do...so anyways I fall asleep...and i have the worst nightmare of my entire life. I don't really have the energy to put any details about it in here...but i will say that this nightmare was the first time in my life that on top of everything else happening...the memories coming back....i died in this one.
Well...I woke up..cried for a little while....got out of bed and took 5 no-doze. It sounds like alot...but for the record...i wasn't trying to hurt myself...i just didn't want to...no...i couldn't let myself fall asleep. Well bobby called about the time I finished crying and then after i got off with him miranda called...and not too long after that...I hit a huge caffiene low and I fell straight to sleep. But no nightmares this time around. So its ok.

Well...I woke up this morning with the phone ringing...I answer it...its my mom. Blah. Not the voice i wanted to wake up to. Ehh...oh welll...she brought me food...so i'll forgive her this time. lol. I was sooooo hungry when i went to bed last night...and when i finally woke up this morning...my stomach was actually hurting b/c i hadn't eaten. Whoops. But I am loving it that mom went to bojangles for me. Thanks mommy!!!

Hm...I wanna send miranda a text message to wake up to...but i don't want to wake her up in the process...hmm...what to do, what to do?
I guess I'll go email her and if she still isn't up yet then i'll send her one.

Everyone have a GRRRRRRREAT day!!!!! (yeah...I feel like Tony The Tiger)

Tuesday, September 3rd, 2002

(Smack some sense into me)

Time:10:44 am.
My bed has never seemed so big.
I had every intention on trying to sleep until I had to get up to get ready but my mom came in my room at 10 and woke me up and afterwards i just couldn't sleep.
It took me an hour to be able to talk after i woke up...i was starting to think my voice was completely gone...but its better now...my throat still hurts...but it'll be ok. Especially if i get to go see miranda today.
Well...I'm going to go try and sleep again.

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002

(2 smacks | Smack some sense into me)

Time:10:27 pm.
This journal will be friends only. If you wanna be added as a friend leave me a comment or send me an email. EmotionalSkin@aol.com
Don't worry. I don't bite.....much.

LiveJournal for Corrupt From Within.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 10 entries.